It snowed all day yesterday and I watched the snowfall for hours out my back window. It was so quiet and gentle. No rush, as the flakes took their own time traveling from the sky down to the ground. Each flake had its own route, its own little dance steps from point A to point B.
Little by little, hour by hour, the snow got deeper and deeper until about a foot blanketed the ground. How could that have happened? The little flakes hardly weigh anything and as they move through the air, they seem like gossamer, not like anything that would create a pile-up that might need to get plowed.
I’m learning to be gentle as I am creating and receiving my new life. I am at that point where I am almost ready to regroup and re-enter, to start a band, to book concerts at the Music Sanctuary, to blog regularly, to socialize more…but for now, I am spending a lot of time by myself, on retreat.
Taking time out and regrouping and rejuvenating is not for the weak of spirit. It takes ongoing daily reminders for me to take it slowly, to trust god’s pace, to make sure I’m full before I give myself away. To fill with spirit, to nourish my body with healthy food and green smoothies, to walk in the woods after the snow in my brand new snow shoes, a Christmas gift from my teen-age son. To take time out and be silent. It’s so tempting to go into action, to plan events, to make something happen. People expect that from me. I have been feeling both internal and external pressure to get going again.
I’m taking this time to walk away from the pressures of our capitalist culture, to just listen to my inner voice and follow directions. It’s a moment-by-moment gentleness that adds up. Flake by flake. I am learning that great wisdom can come from the spaces in between my actions, from the gift of following the advice of god to be still.
I wrote this to inspire you to be gentle and to model how to take time for retreat and to value it and to also show how it’s hard sometimes to not act. I thought that many people would relate. It’s not easy to not do. I hope we can encourage each other and cheer each other on in taking time out.